


Define a Little

by Essie321



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Inspired by brooklyn nine-nine, Peter makes questionable choices, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 08:53:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14808192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Essie321/pseuds/Essie321
Summary: Peter didn’t know that MJ had been recording the entire night. To be fair, he couldn’t really remember last night at all. What he did know was that he woke up on Sunday with a headache the size of Manhattan, and Ned wrapped around him like a sweaty topless octopus.





	Define a Little

Peter didn’t know that MJ had been recording the entire night. To be fair, he couldn’t really remember last night at all. Saturday night was MJ’s birthday and she had pressured them into drinking shitty rum and coke at her party. Peter only had flashes of what happened after they had left around one, and none of it was good.

What he did know was that he woke up on Sunday with a headache the size of Manhattan, and Ned wrapped around him like a sweaty topless octopus. They had spent the rest of the day watching old movies, trying to hide their hangovers from a suspicious Aunt May, and swearing never to drink again. 

Ned’s phone was dead and Peter had lost his the previous night, leaving both unaware of what was brewing.

On Monday morning Peter goes to school as normal, looking forward to hearing what he had missed. He doesn’t really notice the increased whispering or laughter around him. Only for the truth to be revealed when Flash shoves him into a locker, shouting, “Watch out Spiderman!”

And his mind goes blank.

Peter turns to Ned, whose face reflects his own horror, and hisses “What the Hell?”

But Ned only shakes his head. “I remember you jumping around a bit, but I don’t think you outed yourself.”

Ned was in fact wrong. 

With great pleasure MJ showes them a video of Peter hanging upside down, topless, on a traffic light, shouting “Just your friendly neighbourhood spider!” He back flips off, lands facing away from the camera, to clumsily roll to face them, to say “Come get me crime.” And then vomits over his shoes.

Since 4am Sunday morning, when MJ posted it on Twitter, the video has gone viral, been reposted to Instagram, and started to trend on Tumblr. Grinning in pride, she points her caption _Mystery solved_ and says, "Who'd have thought it?" 

MJ slaps him on the back as she informs him that it was the best birthday present ever. His heart leaps a little until he realises. Overnight, Peter has become a meme.

 

When 3 o’clock rolls round, Peter finds Happy waiting for him outside. Ned gives him some half-hearted thumbs up, and says, “Good luck man, you’re gonna need it.”

“Can you text May and tell her I forgot I was going to Mr Stark’s today?”

Ned nods, smiles in what looks more like a grimace, and heads towards their bus.

Peter slides into the back of the car, and as he is buckling up Happy breaks his usual no talking policy to slyly ask, “Good weekend?”

Peter ignores the comment and sinks lower into his seat, wishing that it was possible to die from embarrassment. Unfortunately, he is still alive and conscious by the time Happy pulls up to the Avengers compound, with no hope of escape.

 

Peter walks towards the kitchen, where he normally grabs a snack, but isn’t hungry for the first time in forever. He drops his bag off on the counter when Friday informs him that Mr Stark is waiting in Lab Five for him. Peter can’t help imagining what Mr Stark is going to say to him. _What if he takes the suit? What if he is never allowed back because he can’t be trusted with secrets?_ Worst of all Peter knows how disappointed Mr Stark will be. 

When he enters the lab Mr Stark doesn’t turn straight away, and just continues to work on the specs he has floating in front of him. It looks like some sort of compact parachute, but he can’t focus. Peter can feel his heart start to race, panic building, and memories of the weekend start to rise.

So when Tony says, “I want to show you a video that really upset me.”

What comes out of Peter’s mouth is: “In my defence, MJ bet me that I couldn’t drink all that shampoo”

“That’s not what I-”

Mr Stark spins around, and his voice increases in pitch.

“You drank shampoo?”

Peter freezes. “It was only a little.”

“Define a little,” Mr Sark says, “Because to me, any amount of shampoo drinking is too much.”

Peter doesn’t have time to invent an excuse before Mr Stark continues.

“And on the topic of drinking, I wasn’t aware that it was legal in the state of New York for fifteen year-olds to be drinking what appeared to be a vast quantities of rum.”

Peter can’t help feeling that Mr Stark is being a little hypocritical, but is too embarrassed, too guilty to defend himself.

“I expect you to be better than this, Peter. What you do, what we do, it isn’t a joke. It isn’t a responsibility to be taken lightly.” 

Mr Stark doesn’t look angry, he just looks tired, “Nobody knew where you were. What if something had happened to you? To you friends?”

Peter hurries, “I was fine, nothing bad happened.”

“That’s not what it looked like to me.” Mr Stark shook his head, and said “I think you should go home and think about what Spiderman means to you. Happy will drive you.”

Peter feels his face heat and his eyes begin to prick. He fidgets with his hands, and his eyes are glued to the floor.

“I’m sorry Mr Stark, I promise-”

But he gets cut off, “I’m not going to punish you Peter, I’m not your Father.” 

His frown eases, “I also don’t want to ban you from having any fun, ever. Just a little more caution next time. I need you to act more mature”

Peter nods and raises his head again.

“And for God’s sake, please don’t drink any more shampoo.”

 

Peter is grounded when he gets home. One of Aunt May’s co-workers had shown her the video and she had recognised him straight away. It was another dose of disappointment and guilt, which had felt doubly worse coming from her. They had eaten dinner in awkward silence, and not even Peter’s best attempts to spark conversation succeeded. The only plus side was that apparently Ned had found his phone and dropped it round. Peter had been wondering how he was going to bring up needing a new one.

After finishing his homework, Peter unplugs his charger and turns his phone on. As the internet connects he finds himself bombarded with notifications. Apparently, getting drunk and doing acrobatics makes him desirable to follow.

However, it is a picture that MJ had tagged him in on Instagram that catches his attention. She’s in the middle and has an arm slung over both Ned and his shoulders. It’s slightly blurred as if whoever took it slipped at the last moment. Their eyes are dazed with alcohol, but their grins stretch wide, caught mid-laugh. _Thanks for a great birthday losers._

Peter smiles. Maybe the weekend hadn’t been too bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I have ever posted (and finished lmao) so tell me what you think! :)


End file.
